29 December, 2012

Kill them, Kasab style

I woke with a deeply disturbed mind. How much is too much? How many is too many? When will the government understand and realize that all this has gone too far? Inside, I knew this was going to happen. The girl would be flown out of the nation to avoid political unrest. Then she would die there at midnight. What shame.

Why do this to a girl? Can 6 men together feel animal lust at the same time? When does one lose their morals - while staring at a woman wearing makeup? or while staring at a woman in jeans? If 6 men were in it together, how is it that not even one of them thought it was wrong and stopped it? So if we were to take a sample size of 10 men in our country, are 6/10 of them animals? What upbringing did these men have? Did they grow up with no morals at all? If they thought a girl travelling with a male friend at 9.30 pm was wrong, did they not think raping her was wrong too? 

Dear Men,

As a woman who has been in this country for 26 years now, I'd like to say something on behalf of my gender. While we are travelling in a bus, don't rub yourselves on us - we don't like it. When we walk on the road and you are the proud pillion rider in a two wheeler, don't slap our behinds are you pass us - we don't like it. When we travel in trains and you are on the topmost berth, don't bend down to look at us lying down - we don't like it. When we walk in and out of a mall or any public place - do not sit with your friends and say lewd stuff - we can hear you and we don't like it.When you are seniors in a college, treat us like juniors - don't call us and question us just about anything in the name of ragging - it's not cool, at all. When we come from 'out of station' and become your tenants, don't expect anything more from us other than the rent we are supposed to give. Yes, it shatters our confidence and scares us. But we won't stop there. If your ultimate idea to prove you are strong is by raping a woman, remember a woman can rise even after that. Mainly, as a race that walks with your genitalia outside, remember we are more equipped with knives and nails more than you are. 

Whenever you think that a woman is pretty, and in your very solemn way imagine her in bed, keep the party in your mind and in your pants. No more of 'think of your mother and sister drama'. Even the phrase 'eve teasing' is so chauvinistic. Its called 'Physical assault' and we all take it seriously. 

We've put up with a lot so far. We won't remain quiet anymore. Enough is enough. 

The gender that will not take it anymore

20 December, 2012

Paranoid Pragi

Paranoia was not a part of me before my son arrived. Now, Im totally paranoid about a few things.

1) While he sleeps in his cradle and I on the bed, I follow his every breath. (some infants have noisy breathing till they are 6 months). If he turns in his sleep, I immediately lose sleep. Padhu wakes up with that jerk I give every time I get up to check on him.

2) When I watch a movie on my laptop, I wear one earphone only. Just in case baby G makes a noise, u know.

3) He sleeps for three hours after his bath. I insist on being there in the same room, or someone else if I'm stepping out for a bath.

4) I don't let him cry much. When he cries, I feel like the whole world's weight is on my shoulders. When he stops, I feel like taking rest. phew!

5) On those days that his blue fleece blanket is in the laundry, I think he doesn't sleep well. Even though he looks normal.

6) I keep thinking about schools he will join in a lot. Yes, now itself.

I'm going to need a lot of help. *shakes head in dismissal while staring into the mirror. wait, he just moved in his cradle*

23 November, 2012

RIP Rajam Mami

The love for music is in the genes for a few.. I'm one of them. My grandmother learnt music, then my mother learnt music and I learnt music... Carnatic music. I couldnt finish because of the long boarding school life. But at the age of two my mum sent me to maami my neighbour. She taught me slokas and Carnatic music.

During summer holidays my brother and I used to go to her every weekend for a two hour long class. She would start and end with the sapasa. Her handwriting in Tamil was huge letters that filled our 'Paatu notes'. She remembered every lyric... However long the song was. My grandma learnt from her for almost 40 years. She always taught about how Mami remembered the lyrics of Ashtapathi that she taught my grandma for three years (it was that long). She taught 10 other maamis along with my grandma. Everyone found it weird how my grandma joined a group of maamis to learn music. My grandma was the start to music in my family and Maami was the reason.

Maami came from a family of singers from Tanjore. She shifted to Tirupur after her marriage. In and around the lanes we lived, many children and women came to learn from her. She never raised her voice to a naughty child. Never. Children cuddled around her during the weekends.

Every time she sang 'kurai ondrum illai', we would switch off our TVs four houses away to listen to her voice. Her voice was magnetising. She was probably the first person who took me onstage. I don't remember participating in anything on stage other than music.

Today I sing to my son while cradling him to sleep the songs that she taught me. When I knew I was pregnant, I knew I wanted my child to have some love towards music or anything related. I made sure I listened to music every time. There would be 'om' chants echoing in the walls of my house or there would be music playing on the speaker. At night I connected my iPod to a tiny tortoise speaker and kept it near my belly. My mum suggested I went to maami to learn a few new songs

My mum visited her in the hospital last week and she very sweetly reminded my mum to tall me to drink 'jeers water' since I was feeding my son. sweet old lady.

Around my third month I learnt five songs from her and then she fell ill. She had to have injections in her eye and many other procedures. She called and informed me not to come for a few days. Her family situation started getting worse and she was sent to a far off relative's house. Her health condition deteriorated and she was brought back here. With all the shunting around, she was slowing down. We expected her last and it came today. She breathed her last this evening at 530pm.

When the call came this evening, we knew what to expect. In a way we were all hoping it would come sooner, because of the suffering she was going through. I don't believe in the organised form of prayer through religions and their beliefs but from the bottom of my heart - I hope she attains peace in heaven with all the gods she sang about. I hope she enthrals many souls there with her voice.

Her voice echoed in the street we lived in... I can still remember her call me 'bragathi' and my brother 'pranava sai'. Not only do I remember the lyrics of the songs she taught us, I remember the handwriting of hers cause I stared so much at the letters till I learnt each . The woman who taught me my favourite songs and hopefully my son's too.

If I have to be thankful for something today, Maami, I thank the almighty you believe in for having sent you here and made us in the family love music. Thank you for the wonderful alaipayuthey times and long hours of music.

Truly the end of an era. Hope every woman and child you have taught sings for generations to follow.

RIP Maami.

22 November, 2012

Super 100!

It's my little boy's 100th day today and I'm super happy! Days have not gone by in a wink and all..every day has been enjoyed and photographed with joy!

Around the time I was pregnant with Gnan, 3 other very good friends were also expecting. 3/4 are boys and all my friends are enjoying the season just as much as I am. It's a very different journey as a parent. All of a sudden im the voice of someone entirely. The responsibility is fun!

Like one of my friends said "it's like I have a doll of my own that I can dress up, bathe, clean and cuddle!" It was one hilarious thing to say about her own child but the initial days felt like that. Mummy did the tough parts of putting him to sleep, bathing him. All, I had to do was feed him and choose the clothes he had to wear! (what fun)

100 days down! Online hi-fi!! 

21 November, 2012


So many people, so many opinions. Finally one giant secret and Kasab is hung. All the government needs to learn now is to maintain secrets like they did with this one.

 RIP Kasab. You took the wrong lane and you you die in shame. 

13 November, 2012

My no-cracker Diwali

Happy Diwali first of all!

Every year I keep thinking I should not burst crackers during Diwali, but fail miserably. This year the same thing happened, but I didn't buy any new ones. I finished all the old ones that were lying n my attic. Mum is happy the attic has more space now. It is my first Diwali as a parent and yet I acted like a kid when I saw my dad light the first cracker! Will power and self control.

Baby G's first Diwali - With the mild winter setting in, he loves to cuddle close into me and sleep with my quilt over his. He woke only at 845 which gave me loads of sleep. All I had to do was hand him over to my parents and start getting ready. When I was ready and downstairs G was all dressed up and smart! What fun it is to see dad carry him to the little Ganapathy statue in our lawn and make him pray there!

With a long photo session with my grandparents and his grandparents, G went back to sleep. He woke around our lunch time and Skyped with his mama in the UK. With all the excitement of it being Gs first Diwali and all, I was still feelIng low that it was my very first Diwali with my brother so far away. We had sent him a courier with murukkus and sweets and a bunch of new clothes for him.

Diwali this year was relaxed, slow, new, and wonderful in its own way! I watched Padhu burst a few crackers and then watched me little boy. Everyone else was saying he would burst crackers next year by now. 

It was definitely a happy Diwali! Hope all of you had a wonderful Diwali! 

NRIs, Overseas students, travellers who didn't get their Diwali at home in India - here's hoping one Diwali here will come soon! Distances make the heart grow fonder, don't they. 

08 November, 2012

Back actively, I hope.

The past couple of months have been a whirlpool of emotions and events. The baby arrived on August 14 and yes, my husband won. It's a boy and we're naming him Gnaneshwar. Gnan meaning knowledge and Eshwar name of the god whose temple we got married in. Not exactly his temple, but... Well, u get the point.

Gnan is 89 days old now. And the 89 days have been so new. Every minute he is awake is a moment to treasure (that's what I'll say now but I don't remember much from the labor room itself). I've been told a million time not to watch Gnan when he is asleep, but I just don't listen. Watching anyone sleep so peacefully makes me want to sleep too!

 After two months with my mother's guidance and care, Gnan and I have come to Padhu's house and started as a family. It's wonderful to experience one more person in our little nest. Now that I'm the only girl, I hope I get more than my share of love from the boys. Padhu wants Gnan to play hockey like he did, I want him to play hockey, badminton and football. Women ARE greedy! Padhu wants him to be a day scholar and I want him to go to boarding. Baby G is just 89 days and we are already fighting.

The three of us got a picture taken on the way to Gnan's vaccination and it's arriving on Monday. Firsts of everything is so beautiful! I having loads of fun being a new mother. Looking forward to being my son's loveable mother and good friend!

23 June, 2012

I'm alive! Twice actually :)

I took so long to write this post, even Blogger changed! I'm not lazy. I promise. I'm just anything but lazy.
Its been exactly 4 months since my last post... I'm guilty now!

Well, the past few months have been a real journey.. with the pregnancy and the attention I was getting, I was bound to lose myself and forget anything else that was important to me. The past 8 months have been consuming - mentally and physically. I look like one of those actresses who just stuff their tummies with a pillow and pronounce themselves pregnant. I haven't gained weight anywhere else but my tummy and my family is complaining. What can I do? Like mother, like daughter.

Being in India Padhu and I don't know the sex of the baby yet. Do we want to? No. All the shopping for the baby is done in yellow and green though my mother favored nothing but blue. What is it with these elders and  their love for boys? I know no one from my family is going to read this so I'm gonna say it out loud.. I want a girl. Padhu wants a boy and he is kind of convinced it is a boy. Don't ask how.

Its a roller coaster of emotions, being pregnant. First this, first that. The very first scan when the baby looked like a peanut with little hands and legs had me all teared up. Phew.. after that every moment has been fabulous. The morning sickness, obviously not - that was a troubled phase. Everything I sniffed or ate had me throwing up. But the fourth month on-wards my appetite took a super turn.

Well, today I'm starting my ninth month and it feels like just yesterday when I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Baby is still trying to fit into my stomach cause I'm apparently not made of lycra and cannot expand and give baby room. Baby pushes, tosses and turns so much because of that.

With so much happening I haven't been travelling at all.. just monthly and bi-weekly doctor visits. I'm so glad my brother is here with me through this time. Its such a wonderful time to share with the little sibling. And with a sibling so caring and loving, I don't even have to worry about anything. He is also convinced its a boy.. he mentioned that he saw the baby wearing blue chaddies in the first scan itself. Boys are a little obsessed with their gender! :D

We are expecting baby by mid-August which gives me a solid 8 weeks to sleep how much I want. My brother and Padhu are obviously going to update the big news on Facebook then.. but I'm gonna definitely share it here.

I don't really know if I will visit this space again till then but keep the two of us in your prayers if you can. We are going to be a noisy pair!

Loads of love from me till then...

Nags : I'm sure its you who is reading this first. Hope you and TH are fine. I haven't opened your blog in a while. Will do so right now! I will not be one of those moms who forget the laptop after baby arrives. I will try to be as cool as I can possibly be :D



23 February, 2012

Oops, Page 3 bugged me

How does Saif Ali Khan's brawl at a restaurant take precedence over 16 soldiers killed in an avalanche in Kashmir? How? HOW?

Why does it matter if the Bachan family have named their new child Abhilasha or Aaliyah?

Why is it so important if Rajinikanth acts with Katrina or Deepika?

Honestly, news ain't news anymore. Gossip is more like it.

Ok, next post will not be as late as this one.. my morning sickness is just making me lie in bed all day! Will be back for sure!

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