23 August, 2009

Is it so bad?

I was watching one of my favorite programmes - Neeya Naana. The topic of debate was "if someone from your family fell in love with someone from another caste (within Tamil Nadu) - would you accept the third person into your customs etc etc"

One of the debaters said - 'I will tell my daughter/son to either be on a photo frame with a garland or i will kill them.' Another said 'I would advice him/her not to be stubborn, but if they come home married - i will tell them to get out of my sight forever.' The Oh MY GAWD moment was when one guy said 'I will kill the two of them as soon as I see them.'

Coming from a very conservative family and caste myself, I had just heard of all these complications. The catch here is the family name, society, and the religious beliefs. Falling in love with someone from your caste - allowed. Falling in love with someone from another caste - no no.

I have heard of people warning kids when they go off to college about falling in love with someone from a different caste. On this show, I for the first time heard of people NOT SENDING KIDS TO SCHOOL afraid of the fact that they might fall in love with someone. Is it so bad? Compromising on your child's education for your dignity - is it worth it?

My opinion - I come from a family that strongly believes in arranges marriages though I do not believe in them. I do not believe in love marriages either - I believe in getting to know a person for long, making a commitment, accepting them for what they are and being what I'm and deciding on what a marriage will have to offer. Yes, I need a guarantee about what kind of life I promise to someone in exchange for what they have for me. The added advantages of the surprises of living together each day are more than welcome.

A handful of people who are ready to get their kids married to their cousins - another handful that are so insecure about their children that they get them married before they are adults.

How is it in your hand to decide another person's life - even if it was someone you made? Just because your life was not in your hands to decide - is it ok to experiment on your child's? Isn't it fair for your child to grow with their generation?

Why is it so tough to let go?

2 parallel ropes - high in the air - hay stacks piled up below - overlooking audience - all you need to do is jump - So just let go!

18 August, 2009

Rakhi weds while Millions watch!

'I hate Rakhi Sawanth!!' - well who doesn't?! Drama Queen, Item Girl, Boob job, Cleavage mania and what not.

Saturday afternoon at home is a normal 'wake up and have chocos' time. But last Saturday was much more - I needed a LOT of salt to watch and digest what was happening on NDTV imagine. A re-telecast of the whole "Rakhi Ka Swayamwar' season. My roommmate was watching it and she was Very interested! Every statement she made was like crap to me. I had heard about this show - i hadn't watched it earlier. I was laughing my arse off with every scene.

She met the mother's of all the grooms before she decided who she should marry - What bullshit. They talked abt the guy - his girlfriend - how he did this show only because of the publicity - how he will let go of his girlfriend if he wins - bullcrap.

I was criticizing everything about the show, when my room mate got very offended. She said 'pragi, why don't you watch the show with a pinch of salt? if you are watching my tv stop criticizing like this!' Ignoring the part that it was her tv, i went on to think - how much salt i would actually require to think something like this was sane enough in the first place - how something like this is actually happening to bear with the reality involved in it.

That was not the end. The D-day was there - and rakhi walks across the line of awaiting grooms with a garland in her hand while the families of the grooms wait with the mangalsuta and a saree WAIITING to get on stage as soon as Rakhi garlands their son - if she does. What!! When did people in India become so OK with the fact that weddings can happen through TV shows - how weddings can happen without a kundli match - if not for Rakhi or the Tv publicity would parents be OK with their sons marrying like that? Would they be ok marrying her and living her life?

Well, it ends like this. I hate her and yet I watched. I hated the whole idea and yet I watched. I laughed at the whole thing and I can't get it off my head. Kudos! But how far can people go to make real moments in life completely fake?

17 August, 2009

and I'm saying good byes again.

Its been two years now. Two years with Google. I never thought I would fall in love with this place or make any worthy friends here or even have fun. Chennai was just too good for me, I wasn't willing to let any more people flood my life and leave again. But somehow over the first year, I made one good friend, in another two months I made a few more, and then I think I just became myself and let many people into my life and became a part of theirs.

Now on a rainy August evening I sit and look at the countdown of Mamsy's mirror - the countdown for her to return from the US. I sit and look at the untouched Calvin & Hobbes that Appy gave me to read and told me to take all the world's time with - till yesterday she said - '2 months, and I'll be gone.' I sit and read through Hari's blog and think about how the invisible man pinged me all of a sudden and gave me the news that he is leaving in a week's time. I sit and think about how Roosho and Varun *tarun* have not been in the breakout area for 2 days now to smile at. I sit and look through pictures on FB and think how Upsi's in Goa with her friends and not at her desk for me to bug. I sit and think about how Arun moved to another team and how he is never online during the day to ping and bug. I sit and think about how Naveen is back in India and yet so far away. I sit and think about how I let this happen to me yet again - how I let people come into my life and go with the various boarding schools and hostels. How I let them become a part of my life when I know it will be painful again to say goodbye. I sit and think about how in a few months, I might be packing to say bye to the Hyderabadi life I promised I would never fall in love with. I sit and think about how I cribbed over the missing Hyd monsoons and how today they arrived to make me smile. I sit and think about the various house hunting & moving - and how each left me a memory. I sit and think about how the next move will be for good and will be for home.

Most of all, I sit and think about how my most cherished Chennai love is missing for a long time. How the best of friends have found their way with life and left behind memories. How my throat aches when I browse through pictures or look at my wall at home. How some things like "I promise to keep in touch" are just things we say. How sometimes you make all the effort for nothing. And how now ppl call with something in mind and some other thing in return.

If people are a part of your life, why can't you take them with you? If you are a part of their life, why do they have to be so far away? If distance makes relationships stronger - why not try and keep in touch.

I'm gonna miss you guys so much - I'm a Hyderabadi Jay. True. Once a Hyderabadi, always a Hyderabadi. I'm gonna miss everything about this place.

14 August, 2009

Barter system.

Anyone wants to trade lives with me?

You get to sit on Facebook whole day,
Play Farmville non-stop,
Non-stop chocolcate supply,
Work that's easy,
Manager Out of office for a month,
Friends who are always there to support you on FB by adding pictures,

Hell No. I take that back.

06 August, 2009

Brains Swap With their Things.

U, Me, and I were at lunch when suddenly U jumped up. She started off with her usual 'You guys will NOT believe what I'm about to say!.' Me and I knew it was something kick ass or U won't jump up! So here it is.. U was on her way to office in the cab and about 3 kms from office in a not-so-private turn were a couple in a car making out.
It was so very obvious that U's cab driver told her not to look that side, though other cars stopped to have a look at the 'happy-just-couldn't-wait-till-they-got-home' couple. I was shocked. Are we in Gossip Girl's pages or India? Who does that at 8am in the morning? - well, don't answer that anyone - but who does that on a public road at 8am?

We got to talking about this and each of us came up with incidents we've seen. Men in public buses jerking off and in their own worlds, around school corners, near girls hostels and of all places - doctors clinics!! I would be fair and give the benefit of the doubt in a dark cinema hall - a public bus? I'm sure these people do realize where they are if they are able to do what they are doing!!

I was in Chennai for 3 years of my life. My hostel was in the center of the city, in the compound as a very famous wedding hall, had 24 hour security and the wedding hall and hostel belonged to very famous people in Chennai. It was haven in itself with all facilities. For the three years I was there, there was a very very disturbing incident that occurred day after day. I had seen it myself, heard about it and it was scarring. There was a guy who got his night's happiness by standing under a lamp post and an electric transformer and stripping every night. He used to strip naked and then jerk off while girls used to watch from the hostel windows. Yes, his audience were amazed at what he was doing - some of them giggled as they called for more friends to come and watch - but this happened almost everyday.

Being a part of the old wing in hostel, i didn't know this happened till my second year. I was in a friend's room once when I heard some noises and peeped out to see this guy naked. He stripped every piece of clothing like a pro and I stood there watching from my friends window in shock. As he was approaching the last piece of clothing, i screeched. My friend and I called the warden's office and she dismissed the issue saying it happens always. She was that ignorant. We instead called for security from the wedding hall and they approached the lamp post and the guy grabbed his clothes and ran for his life. We could see the whole incident from the very window when it happened AGAIN the next week. My mind kept thinking - if the security chased him - where did he go change? till where did he run naked? how many dogs were on the way? how could he run like that? how disturbed was he?

These incidents scar people for lifetime. In such situations - what does one do?

Scream and invite a crowd - then?
Go to a police station - then?
Write out a written complaint - then?

What should one do to stop this? Public obscenity is a seriously punishable violence. But some still have the audacity to perform these self-sexual acts in public places.

Back to the grind

With the start of the academic year here, life is almost back to the grind. School is priority uno for both G boy and me. This year looks pr...