17 February, 2013

The Hahahahas of my long pregnancy story!

Everytime I see a pregnant woman i know now, I politely smile. That's it. Earlier, I used to be nice and ask when she was due or what baby she wanted. Now, nothing but a smile. Or an added 'how are you' to sound interested. Been through the pregnancy thing now. It's a wonderful ten months with so many different emotions. Everyone accounts for their milestones, first heartbeat, first ultrasound, first kicks, first cries. I did it too with a lot of excitement! Those little tiny toes and fingers make everyone go awww... But during the pregnant days, many things drive one crazy. One such thing is the free advice one gets from visitors, relatives, passers by etc.

I wanted to account all those advices in one place. The strongest advice I gave myself was 'Listen to your doctor, and your gut. And of course your bump!' I did listen to everything people said, hilarious as few were. Advices poured n from visitors, relatives, neighbours etc... Mine went on to auto drivers, waiters, waitresses, cashiers and the little boy who irons clothes at the end do the road. Yeah.

Here's  a tiny little list of a few hilarious things people had to say...

'Don't have your coffee hot, your going to burn the baby's eye lashes.' - em, ok.

'When you wake up, do not look into the mirror. The first thing you see is the first thing baby sees.' - that being true, what's wrong if the baby saw me?

'Whenever you eat make sure the baby is not kicking. The food may get deposited in difficult places near the baby.' - gulp, what is a difficult place?

'If someone offers you anything to eat, say no. If you take it immediately, your baby will be a glutton.' - excuse me! I'm pregnant. All I want to do is eat and sleep.

'Make sure you sleep with kumkum every night. It's good for the baby.' - how?

'If baby kicks too much one day. Don't eat what you've eaten that day again. It means the baby doesn't like what you've eaten.' - huh. I thought that was morning sickness.

'If you go walking too fast in your final months, your baby will get delivered on the road.' - oh dear. Someone shut her up.

'You have gestational diabetes? The doctor prescribed insulin? Don't take it.' - wat are you suggesting?

'Don't stop with one kid. Have another one. Only two kids make a family complete.' - let me get done with one. I'm not a gum ball machine!

Pregnancy stories that took the cake....

'Once a girl went into labor and couldn't reach the hospital in time and delivered her baby at a railway checkpost. The baby had bandages on hands and legs. Make sure you reach hospital on time.' - thank you, you made me feel so much better.

'Ive heard of a girl who didn't deliver after ten months. So don't worry if you don't go into labor. It's not going to stay there forever.' - yeah, I know. After ten months I'm going to start charging the baby ten bucks for every day more.

'Pragi, walk, do yoga, eat well. I didn't do anything of those and I had to get a c section. My husband was out of town so my dad signed the papers.' - why on earth was ur husband out of town close to your due date?

'One girl actually hid under the labor room sink while n labor to avoid pain.' - how does it help? Sink sinks pain?

When some stories were just for laughs, others were of great help. Some personal encounters were just sharing, some bragging. Now all I do is smile when I meet pregnant women.

Back to the grind

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