23 August, 2009

Is it so bad?

I was watching one of my favorite programmes - Neeya Naana. The topic of debate was "if someone from your family fell in love with someone from another caste (within Tamil Nadu) - would you accept the third person into your customs etc etc"

One of the debaters said - 'I will tell my daughter/son to either be on a photo frame with a garland or i will kill them.' Another said 'I would advice him/her not to be stubborn, but if they come home married - i will tell them to get out of my sight forever.' The Oh MY GAWD moment was when one guy said 'I will kill the two of them as soon as I see them.'

Coming from a very conservative family and caste myself, I had just heard of all these complications. The catch here is the family name, society, and the religious beliefs. Falling in love with someone from your caste - allowed. Falling in love with someone from another caste - no no.

I have heard of people warning kids when they go off to college about falling in love with someone from a different caste. On this show, I for the first time heard of people NOT SENDING KIDS TO SCHOOL afraid of the fact that they might fall in love with someone. Is it so bad? Compromising on your child's education for your dignity - is it worth it?

My opinion - I come from a family that strongly believes in arranges marriages though I do not believe in them. I do not believe in love marriages either - I believe in getting to know a person for long, making a commitment, accepting them for what they are and being what I'm and deciding on what a marriage will have to offer. Yes, I need a guarantee about what kind of life I promise to someone in exchange for what they have for me. The added advantages of the surprises of living together each day are more than welcome.

A handful of people who are ready to get their kids married to their cousins - another handful that are so insecure about their children that they get them married before they are adults.

How is it in your hand to decide another person's life - even if it was someone you made? Just because your life was not in your hands to decide - is it ok to experiment on your child's? Isn't it fair for your child to grow with their generation?

Why is it so tough to let go?

2 parallel ropes - high in the air - hay stacks piled up below - overlooking audience - all you need to do is jump - So just let go!

Back to the grind

With the start of the academic year here, life is almost back to the grind. School is priority uno for both G boy and me. This year looks pr...