Breaking barriers

I woke this morning with my little boy's hands tickling my neck. With the added luxury of wanting to sleep late, I picked up my phone and called my mum. She ran upstairs and took my son along with her so I could get that little sleep I needed. It's her thing, she loves it. She does it every time and from the moment they leave my room and till I go downstairs after my bath, I hear them giggling, laughing, screaming and making noise in every which way. My mom makes sure she closes the door, but these noises are the noises that reach you beyond the door. My father usually gives his own touch of love by switching on the AC for me before he leaves but father and daughters is another story.

For five years, I've been studying the life of a woman who runs a home, a family. I've been trying so so hard to do it myself, my way but there are so many times I've realised that whatever you do you will be the woman with the element of feeling who waits. I'm either waiting for my son to go to sleep, waiting for husband to get back home, waiting for the tea leaves to boil, waiting for my sons lunch to get made (my in laws have added the luxury of a cook for me, so I'm in good hands both sides). As I type, I'm waiting for my husband to return from his ten day trip abroad. Practically, waiting became the hashtag.

After my mum left my room, I saw these flooded messages from various groups on Whatsapp. All for Mother's Day. It was either a picture of a woman and a baby, or a picture of flowers or a quote from Google or Pinterest. I opened and closed all of them and replied to the one I wanted to. By then, I heard a lot of giggling downstairs and decided to rush. Quick bath and bed made, I ran down to realise my son had had his breakfast, washed up and was ready to play in his kiddie pool with my father.

My mum made me my dosas and after breakfast she was on lunch duty. After a solid ten minutes, I put my son to sleep and my mum was on starters. Sunday, chicken day. So extra work.

I sat staring into my phone with no notification, opening and closing Facebook mindlessly. Then I realised my grandmother sitting next to me. She always sighed and made noises when I was on the phone. I put my phone down and realised I didn't have a conversation starter. Then I stared into nothing and realised something..

My mum probably woke up at 5am, swept the front shed, made coffee, cleaned kitchen... And a huge list of things and then WAITED to serve breakfast. Then she WAITED for my call. Then for me to come downstairs. Then to start making lunch. Then to wash the utensils after lunch. Then again, to get some sleep. Then to make tea. Then to plan dinner. Then to go grocery shopping.

We are the ones who complain our images on Whatsapp don't download quick enough. What amount a patience a woman should have to make sure you have a good day without any actual benefit for herself.

I spun myself a rule list.

When you have to use your phone for something, use it.
When you are mindlessly on Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or Whatsapp, quit.


Give your existence a meaning. The human connection is lost when you can apologise to a stranger you bump into and when you cannot start a conversation with your own.

Love grows through connection of souls. Yes, a facebook status lets your friends know that the woman near you in the picture is your mother. But make sure she does!

Break barriers and converse. Because, otherwise then there will be a day where you will stare out of a window and wonder what the human speech sounds like.




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