Sweet spot.

Life is at that beautiful sweet spot in a year where you know it's after Christmas but you do not know the day or date but it's somewhere before new years. That sweet spot where even a place like Tirupur gives you the chills and the breeze gives you goosebumps on your hands.

Socks on, winter cream on, son asleep, tea brewing and waiting for the husband to arrive from the airport. Sweet spot. Tea, socks and cuddled up son on the lap. This time of the year, everything just dials down. Those hundred whatsapp groups that exchange annoying messages and forwards have piped down because everyone is away from their phones or doing something at the end of the year. Sweet spot.

That time of the year when everyone is making life decisions for the next 12 months. Some to keep and some we know we won't. Well, practicality points. Sweet spot. That time of the year when everyone is using up every last bit of grocery so the new year can start with a fresh lot. Sweet spot.

It's that time of the year when everyone is cleaning out their closets to find that sweater they used last December only to find extra cash stashed somewhere for surprises like this. Sweet spot.

The beauty of December.. or let's call it the December wave.. the month that makes you dance when the month starts and when it ends. Just like a wave.. up and down.

Oh December, the beauty you bring in life!

Countdown to 2018!

Phoenix almost ashes.. 2017 bidding bye

Okay I've just reswound this entire year and gone.. wow, that was fast! It was probably the fastest year but truly, I haven't accomplished anything this. Well, out of my bucket list for this year, I have completed a few. And I've done a few first time things so yay!

Run a marathon.
Read & Write with G man.
Learn something - silambam, Zumba and bokwa. (Sticking only to silambam now)
(It's an ongoing process but I've started)
Kayaked.
Train ride with G man.
Trip to Chennai just me and G
Trip to Salem just me and G
Book shelf in the house
Do something arty - pebble painting

G mans list is admirable I guess..

First time on a train
Learnt swimming
Learnt UNO
Learnt memory
Learnt writing sentences
Did a dad and son cook out at school
Kayaked
Played holi

A friend of mine does thus visualization board every year. I'm a bit inspired.. of course I do set goals.. but to visualize something and see it take shape is a bit exciting. I'm working on my visual board over this week. I've planed to occupy G man's room door for the display. Updates in a week !

Motherhood test of time - phase 2.

The first day I dropped Gnan is school was phase 1. It's so difficult as it is to wean them from the womb to the World. Then comes the actual weaning. Then when we release them into the world of school. Now to watch them grow so quickly is a big ball of mixed emotions.

Right now I'm going through phase 2 of this. Swimming class. I got G boy enrolled in swimming classes so he would learn early unlike me and at this age it is quite easy.

The first 3 days tested my patience as a mother. To watch someone else train your child to unwrap their fears and face the water was a new world altogether. He kept looking at me to help him out of it and all I was asked to do was ignore. After four days of ignoring, he is now floating and kicking on his kick board. Another 8 days of this and I'm hoping he will swim without support by then.

The things we have to do!

Social media and Schools

The monsoons are in and now break period has snacks. Samosas puffs and chips to keep the chats going.. well, we are mum's and hungry ones. With the drizzles coming in we have been munching down our snacks fill the kids finish class. This whole week we've yapped about so much that every might there is something to think about.

Some of them had a lot of to say about my abusive usage of Instagram - well, I knew that already.. but then I got home and deleted a hunch of people I knew I wouldn't want seeing my pictures. The topic strayed into sharing picturea online and somehow ended up being about how schools share pictures on Facebook. Wait, what! Why!? Schools do that apparently and I had no idea. Also, I got to know that schools also have whatsapp groups with all parents of each class in one group - Wait, what?!

The weightage of news shared on these Facebook pages and whatsapp groups range from homework details, holiday information, emergency messages and pictures as well. Information about the kids is sent to parents on a day to day basis with pictures. Talk about over communication!

I prefer a simple diary with all information written by the teacher... G boy's class now copies the stuff written in the board now. I get to see him using capitalisation and punctuations on his diary everyday. I'm not an over protective parent but Id rather receive a call from school personally than a message sent to a group. Nuh- uh!

Me too.

It's the day before Diwali and my Facebook is filled with 'Me too'. An awakening for all of us about how many around us have been assaulted, be it verbally or physically.

Well, me too. Yes, me too. And I'm typing this because seeing so many people say 'Me too' has actually given me the courage to say it out loud as well. But just saying me too won't do.

It happened to me when I was working in Hyderabad for Google. I was living with 5 roommates in a 3 bedroom apartment. It began with the landlord giving me phone calls in the middle of the night. He would call and sound drunk and slurry and then talk in Telugu. Step one, I changed my number. It began happening to another room mate of mine. One Saturday evening, he visited the house in the context of collecting rent and stood there for a while. That's when we decided we all had to move.

End of the first year in Google, I moved in with another friend to a 2 bedroom apartment. The landlords were senior citizens and the house was silent and peaceful. Four months into this house, my friend has taken a trip to Bombay for a weekend. My 67 year old landlord knocked on my door and asked me if I had had dinner. Well after all the niceties were exchanged, he handed me a bunch of CDs saying I could watch Hindi movies while I was bored. I thanked him and shut the door. After a few hours I decided to watch one of those movies on my laptop and opened them. To my shock they were all X rated porn movies. In my head the only calculation that was happening was 'how can a 67 year old man who has just married off his daughter do something like this?' It was way close to midnight for me to leave the house. Also I was too scared the bugger would notice me leaving. So I decided to stay in and leave at the break of dawn. Meanwhile, I searched inside the house for any kind of hidden cameras in both my roomates's bathroom and mine. None to my relief but not entirely relieved till I leave the house.

Hardly slept, I left the house with a suitcase enough for a week to a friend's house. She lived with her father and I knew I was safe there. Come Monday, I reported this to a very friendly HR person at Google and the house was blacklisted for any Google employees to stay further. Brokers who led employees to this house were all called and warned and the HR handled it well. We moved again. This time to a building that had loads of Googlers so we had familiar faces around all the time.

This incident has me shook to the core even now. Other incidents on trains, roads and buses I have handled on the spot by either chasing the guys away or screaming for attention. But a 67 year old man shook the core of my inner strength that day.

I've had conversations with people about many things but I haven't had the courage to talk about this to anyone except the HR person and my husband who was my then best friend.

It's important to speak out. It's important to face it. It's important to deal with it. It's important to share. It's important to understand.

I have in my life the best of gentlemen in family and friends. Gentlemen who know how to treat a woman right and to respect her for who she is. The same reciprocation applies. The men I know open doors for women and also allow me to open doors for them. They always ask me to sit in the last chair and will oblige to take it if I insisted. Treat other's how you would like to be treated. Be it a man or a woman. I'm thankful for the men in my life who make everything great. But because of men like these sleezeballs, I choose to be a feminist.

Today, I've killed the demon that has been eating inside me for 8 years. Indeed a Diwali. Speak out.

Jolly waali Diwali

It's that time of the year when the entire city is in a frenzy.. shops are open way past midnight so people working the day shift can shop at night. The roads are so bright with all the serial lights making the street lights look sober!

Jolly Waali Diwali is here and this time we have again gone for a minimal Diwali. Minimal Diwali is where we are educated enough to realise that crackers equals pollution but childish enough to burst just a fewnpatakas for that little bit of joy. G man is particularly excited about Diwali crackers this year .. he has been collecting all the ten rupee notes from both our wallets to buy crackers. Well, it's not much but it's still happy.

Diwali with my parents followed by two days of us time in the apartment. We are planning to play UNO, watch TV, long drives to nowhere and loads of sweets! We are looking forward to a family Diwali.. what are your plans for Diwali?

This is our first Diwali just us. This whole year we have been doing things on our own and I'm hoping some become traditions for us as a family. If in twenty years, my son snuggles in a bean bag reading a book every Saturday morning, it'll be a tradition that lived. If in twenty years, Padhu puts his phone on charge only to realise the next morning it hasn't been charging all night, it's a tradition that lived. If in twenty years, my hibiscus plants haven't bloomed, well, that's just a sad sad story. Hoping these first years we make traditions that live and stories to tell!

Happy Diwali everyone!

Maid of Honor - Break Period

If you've read the topic and imagined a beautiful wedding in a church with similarly dressed bridesmaids, snap out of it!

Maid of Honour - Pun intended.

Last week I received a message from a friend. It said that her long term servant maid who had nannied her two children for over 14 years had passed away and she mentioned that this lovely lady just visited her a week back to see the children. The message mentioned the inconsolable children and the heartbroken family.


My Himalayan Baahubalian level craftily talented friend always shared pictures of her kids when they went for a costume party, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, weddings, Onam etc. I had always noted this little woman would be around somewhere or her mention would always be there. For Onam, she has helped my friend's daughter to decorate the poo kolams and a very happily proud mother would share pictures with us. A rainbow themed birthday and the mother would share a picture of her daughter and maid to show us the decorations they had done. Every time I received a message, I would hurry to open it because no matter what, her messages always made me happy.

The message was heartbreaking - yes. More than heartbreaking, I was moved by how my friend had is chosen to eulogize the memory of her accepted family member so beautifully and share it with all of her friends. Family is who we choose beyond the biological connect. Family is what we make it.

In memory of Rengamma. A woman I didn't know. A woman I had never met. A woman who just made things better for the family she was in.