My GOD

I would run if I were asked to have a conversation with someone about my religious views. I would run, really. I've had them before, they didn't taste good. They are always controversial, and they freak me out.

I think I'm agnostic. I believe in destiny. Things don't necessarily happen for a reason. Every second is born. Nothing is planned. I believe there is something that started somewhere and doesn't know where to stop. That's the something that started mankind and mankind has gone on and on. That's the something that starts the wind out of no where. And this something can get pissed when it wants to. Maybe that's what's controlling everything.

I pray. When I pray I say - If I fail this exam, dad should not be at home when the report card reaches home. And mostly, it never works. I pray saying 'I should have the will power not to spend this money, so I can buy my brother something when I go home'. My prayer totally depends on me - I undo my prayers when I know they won't work. It keeps me happy and I call myself Practical. I don't wait for anything when I know its not going to come. Well, after all that if it does come - then I thank what went right there.

Many of my friends ask me why I go to temples - I believe in being a part of my people's beliefs. If a friend of mine believes in something I don't disturb it. And if my going to a temple I'm help my family be happy and keep the tradition strong - I do go. I pray my prayers - and I never hope they are heard. It takes me a lot to want something. And when I say it out loud or even think too much - I make it a part of my prayers.

Every time I go home after a long time, I see my God in the smiles of my family. I see my God when someone I love somewhere remembers see something I like and call me just to say they saw it. The love that binds my people with me is my God. And if you'd want to call me anything - call me as religious as hell! Cause when I love, I love loads!