Turning 1, as parents.

Come August 14, and Baby G will be one year old. A year that has been so eventful, a year that has brought so much joy, a year that has been recorded, photographed, written about, video-taped and memorized in every way possible. There is a part of me that thinks there isn't enough technology in he world to record a little more. Motherhood has been so overwhelming. I know I've screwed up a few times in this year, but the satisfying thing now is he doesn't know it and he has just accepted me the way Iam. Even in the initial few days where I had no idea what to do or how to do it, he felt comfortable in the warmth of my hands and my hold. That acceptance has changed the entire me. 

After a very safe 3 months with my parent's help and love, Gnan and I moved in again to my in laws house. We spent the first night in the same room, just the 3 of us on Gnan's 29th day and the togetherness had begun wonderfully ever since. The 3am poop and the 6am cry have been so memorable... the goof ups of putting the diaper wrong with those sleepy eyes, getting powder on our faces too, rolling over his tiny hands in our sleep are just unforgettable. Now we share a room with our little boy who sleeps before us, wakes before us and rolls between the two of us leaving us laughing at odd hours. 

The firsts of everything have been carefully photographed and youtubed. First time he rolled over, first tooth, first rain, first wedding, first shoes, first smile, firsts vacation... all the first are just amazing. Not just because the baby book's need the date and time and picture... but because the wonder of birth was gradually looking smaller than the wonder of watching him grow.

As parents Padhu and I have so far spoiled G so much. Im not sure if we will be strict parents or confused parents... but from the looks of it, we are going to be accepted parents. Gnan has changed our lives every way. As a parent, everyone says, responsibility tags along.. I think we see their point. Or wait, do we? 

Right from the day I got pregnant, I started writing a baby journal for Gnan. To give to him the day he begins to understand as a child and read as an adult. His 16th birthday. Wishing he loves it as much as I do.

He right now hugs his dad's hands and sleeps at night, calls his 'baaba', calls me 'immmma', stares into my eyes when he wants to poop, says 'mmaaaaa' when he sees our cow, fearlessly pats my dogs chitti and remo, calls my brother 'mama', does the thalam when I sing to him, shakes him head like he's enjoying it when my grann sings to him, says 'ommmmmmm' when he goes into the puja room, crawls with one leg folded, walks with some support around the bed, table, shakes his bum to fast beats, listens to the same songs he heard as a foetus when he sleeps, licks our cheeks when we ask him for a kiss, bends down to suck him toe, bites anyone who touch his lips or tries to check his teeth, poses beautifully for cameras, watches rhymes with his toy in hand, shakes his head when he listens to Johny say 'No papa' in the rhyme, claps his hand when his cousin says he rhymes, eats 5 meals a day, goes for a walk every evening with his imma. 

A very fun loving and cheerful baby so far, I hope Gnan remains happy and healthy and loved by everyone around him. As a parent, I hope to give him a lot of courage and be courageous myself to see him grow and turns years older! 

July 23, 2013.

Cake ordered, balloons bought, guest list ready, just hope Baby G doesn't fall asleep when he has to cut cake. 

Go one day without...

At my bachelorette party, my friends all put in advices in small chits and I had to pick them one by one and find out who wrote them. There were so many whacked out advices but a few have helped me so much. One of them said 'listen to your mother in law and your husband, then do what you want. It's your life after all.' My favourite of all. There was one more, which I did not give much credit for. I still do not know who wrote it. It said 'go one day without complaining. It will make a world of difference.' 

A bunch of my friends and I went to watch a Hindi movie, Rang De Basanti, when in college. I remember a dialogue from the movie which was 'I cannot believe I packed my bags and came to a country where people are waiting for a chance to kill each other.' It was about India. All of us are waiting for a chance for something or the other. 'I'll do this the next time I visit Chennai.' 'I'll buy it when it's on sale.' 'I'll do something for him on our anniversary.' Why not now? When you can? When you want to? Why an occasion? 

Go one day without looking at your watch, and maybe you won't have anything to complain about anything at all. Time is the hero. Take him out of the picture and maybe nothing else will hold. All meetings will fall and alarms will die. A beautiful sunrise and sunset will make your day. 

Facebook Free

After years of being an active social media user, I finally pulled the plug on Facebook. It's was an instant decision and it is right.

Birthday wishes had become wall posts. Expressiveness had stopped with 'aww' and 'Like'. I wasn't laughing out loud when I said 'Lol'. A mere smile is considered lol. Every time i went somewhere, the world had to know. Pointless pictures were taking over my albums. Instagram made my Nikon a loser.  Pictures of friend's on vacation just made me depressed sometimes. Pictures of food made me even more depressed. A pathetic pizza in Tirupur's Domino's was what i started craving for. Friends were all selling cakes, jewellery and anything under the sun on Facebook. Somewhere something said 'Do it' and  I clicked 'Deactivate'. I feel like I just got rid of a disease.

On a brighter note, in the past 4 days, I've read three books. One of them repeated to get me started. Downed Danielle Steele's Legacy and Anita Rau Badami's Can You Hear The Nightbird Call. Life's good. The Khalid Hosseini lover in me wants to read Kite Runner again, yet again.

More of writing and reading from now. Life's good. 

I've never..

Its been a long day.. I'm awake at 12:51 am writing this. Its a list of things I've never done. Its a very very random post. One of those posts I'll regret writing a few days later.

I've never...
...tasted alcohol.
...been to a discotheque.
...had a pedicure.
...stolen.
...wait, it sounds like a matrimonial ad suddenly.
...been to the overrated United States Of America.
...Capitalized an O before in the United States of America.
...finished a cookbook.
...successfully achieved anything.
...gone to sleep without resolving a fight a Padhu.
...let my hair loose and gone out.
...driven a car alone.
...cried into a pillow.
...given up on keeping in touch with my friends who are far away.
...written such a dumbass post before.
...been awake so late after Baby G was born doing nothing.
...something tells me I should finish with a 'I have' list now....

Lets..

I have...

...worked in Google (Its going to be on my tombstone if they bury me, so please just deal with it)
...successfully delivered a 3.8kg baby normally.
...fallen in love, married and loving it..
...eaten Mc Donalds for 15 continuous days just for their Happy Meal toys.
...gained 4 kgs after that.
...learned to master the saree.
...watched a movie all alone.
...danced in the rain.
...watched a butterfly lay eggs, a spider spin its nest and an elephant deliver a calf.
...felt wonderful after that.
...woken without snoozing the alarm. Its an achievement to me.
... realized I'm falling in love with myself now. and yawning like a fool.

I will wake up and regret. Just for laughs. Goodnight world, sorry, half of the world. Good day, the rest of you.

Life.

If its a bad day, it will go by. The sun will rise again and all wil be well. A disastrous headache cannot last long, it will die. A bad situation cannot remain, it will go by. A helpless situation will see a ray of hope. That's what we are programmed for. 

It's ok to cry a little, crib a little, beat oneself up, ponder over something bad and cry about being stout. Cause when there is an effort, the times will change. We will all laugh a lot, laugh at the bad times and make them learning memories, lose weight and look fabulous. 

All it needs is some effort. 

Laugh a lot, eat what you like, love like the skies, sing out loud, dance when you want to, say what you want to, do what you want to, become someone's love, break a heart, get heartbroken, scream in a tunnel, get lost in the woods, chase fireflies, pout at the mirror, act like you have a magic wand, imitate your professor, call someone you haven't called in a while, climb a tree, click random pictures in a public train, dance with your little baby, cry into your pillow, pat yourself on the back after your laundry is done, get yelled at for a high mobile bill, travel without a ticket on a train, share gossip with a friend, roll on a patch of grass, wave at school children in a bus, smile at other's babies, smile at others, jump into a pool, flirt like the clouds and skies, cycle around, talk to people, learn from people. Live life, let go! Unclench. 

Cause its our life, make your own mistakes and live it big! 

Forgot and remembered now.

It was a very not-happening evening at a very boring wedding reception of a very boring person. Ok, I'm a bad person for saying that. I was so very bored when my husband's very annoying friend came by and said his very enthusiastic hello. I had no energy for the guy but said hello in return. He immediately took seat nearby and started talking about his gym workout that evening. Leave it to guys to show off about their workouts and biceps and triceps and abs. He went on and on and suddenly he started this conversation...

He : So Pragi, tell me how you stay in shape.
Me: I wake up, bathe, eat, log in to Facebook, then eat lunch, then doze off for a while, then have tea and then go for a walk and then eat something else and wait for dinner time. Then I eat and fall asleep. I wake up the next day and repeat.
He : Not bad ya, so how long on the treadmill?
Me : What?
He : I run for almost half n hour.
Me : I ate chapati I in the buffet cause the dining hall was full.
He : that's great ya, stay in shape.
Me : huh!
He : Catch you soon! Bye

This happened when I was four months pregnant. A few days later a common friend calls and asks me 'Pragi, you are running on the treadmill even when pregnant?'
Me : Oh god no!

Some people just don't listen, but talk a lot. I had forgotten to post this then.

The new awareness that's creeped in.

When I opened Facebook recently, I saw the 'life event' update option. Clicking that leads one to a variety of options like wedding, anniversary, birthday etc. When I read through them, I realised I do have a new 'life event' (if that's what Facebook calls it). No, not Baby G. I find myself wanting to eat organic and avoid artificial foods. I do give Baby G cerelac and tinned formula, but I choose to do the natural thing more now.

About a month ago, inspired by Pinterest, I planted a few cloves of garlic, some coriander (or cilantro, for those who really don't say coriander) and a pineapple. I'm sure the word pineapple made you think 'what he hell does a pineapple plant look like'. Good thought. Google it! I did so too and I was shocked. Pineapple plants are kind of funny looking. I'm a pineapple lover and so I just decided I would go ahead with a few suggestions from pinners. Here's a look into my garden, both at mum's home and at my in laws. Successfully cultivated my first batch of cilantro... I cannot say that anymore. Coriander. Kothumalli. Phew.

The garlic and coriander are doing well both places. The pineapple at mum's is the one I'm excited about. If my pineapple turns out well, I'd be really glad.

The new awareness : a kitchen garden is easy, less time consuming and healthy.

My nest item is 'herbs'. A variety of Indian kitchen herbs.